Strength vs Weakness

Strong women scare weak men.
There, I said it.
Now let me explain.

In my last post, I talked about the response to a tweet, I wrote:
I attended a concert Sunday, and sat next to a couple who felt the need to touch every second, of the almost 5 hour show.
I tweeted about it.
I said something to the degree that “if you’re a couple who needs to constantly touch, you’re not confident in your relationship.”
That led to a friend disagreeing with me.

I also mentioned how that disagreement led to the friend saying that it’s “my way or no way.” This statement is crap, so I want to talk about it.

I’m a 25-year-old.
I don’t have it all figured out.
I can be ridiculously immature.
I can also be very mature and beyond my years.
I’ve been through things (as we all have) that have shaped me.
I’ve survived relationships that changed me and my perspective.

I do not need a guy to validate me.
I do not need a man to help guide me, my decisions, my thoughts, or my beliefs.
I am not just a girl who will be someone’s wife or mother, one day.
I’m a person.
I have opinions and thoughts.

The truth is, if your opinions, emotions, or thoughts are an issue with a man, he’s scared.
I’m not talking core beliefs. I’m a firm believer those have to match up for people to even have a chance.
What I’m referencing is your preferences.

I’m a huge sports fan. I’ve never liked a guy who has been a fan of all “my” teams.
That’s okay. It’s not a major deal if the guy can be mature about it, with me.
If a guy can’t respect what you like or prefer, he’s scared.

Women who have opinions on things, we hear it all the time, “she’s too opinionated.”
Really? It’s a problem I have personal opinions on things?
You really have a problem respecting the fact I’ve got a mind of my own?

I have zero problems with a man having opinions and preferences.
In fact, I want a man who has opinions and preferences.
It shows that he actually cares more than just a shrug or “I don’t know,” on topics.

A friend and I were talking last night, and he’s a fan of a NBA player I could pass on.
He’s allowed to like him.
We are fine with agreeing to disagree, and moving on. It doesn’t have to turn into a fight.
We are both respect the other enough, to be fine with those differences.

I ran into this problem with my ex, J.
He always told me I was too opinionated.
He told me if I was “a kind girl” I would just agree with him.
He had a problem with me being my own person.
He expected me to need him, to complete me.
He expected to do the thinking for me, and be my brain.
Since I didn’t agree with that, I was the problem.
I was too opinionated. I wasn’t nice. I was never going to get a man because no one would want to put up with that..All according to him.
That’s weakness. That is a weak *boy* looking for you to need him, so he’s validated.

Boys like this shouldn’t have someone.
They are power-hungry, ego seeking, boys.
They expect you to be small so they can be big and powerful.
I can’t stress this enough. That boy is not good for you.

That boy isn’t valuing you.
He’s belittling you.
He’s degrading you.

You’re worth more than that.
You were designed to be a person.
Your ideas, thoughts, dreams, opinions, and emotions are you.
They’re real.
Don’t let a weak boy tell you otherwise.

Strong women should be celebrated.

P.S. Yes, this goes both ways. If a woman is expecting to be the brain for the man, it’s also wrong. You are your own person. Have your own thoughts. Don’t settle for someone who thinks they should “think” for you. You weren’t designed to be that.