Last week was the end of “what if guy.”
The guy I’ve known for 5 years and always had a thing for finally has a conclusion.
If you’ve ever had a “what if” person, you know how hard they can be to get over.
My “what if” guy and I never actually dated.
We had never had an ugly blow up or ugly end, till last week.
He and I both had been in relationships and never seemed to be single at the same time. When we finally were, we were very broken people.
So, I waited. I waited for my turn, patiently.
We got along wonderfully and have core beliefs in common.
I saw him in December.
It was lovely, but I didn’t really expect it to happen.
Why? Well he and I have started the whole “talk, flirt, etc” more times than I can count. But every time, it dies.
Eventually you stop hoping so you can’t be let down, anymore.
Last week I went to his town, which is 2 in a half hours away from “home.”
I told him I was coming, and he should come see me if he had time.
I was there for an entirely different reason, than seeing him.
He told me he’d contact me when he was off work.
Dude totally ignored me and I don’t really think ever had any intentions of contacting me or seeing me..He just wanted to pretend he did.
(Which is insane because I told him I was super over this whole thing and he insisted he missed me and wanted to see me. haaahaa right)
Anyways, he pretended to be tired in a text and that’s when I told him, we needed to “establish healthy friendship boundaries.”
He acted disappointed, but said he “understood.”
He then went on to almost guilt trip me into my decision.
By the time I drove home, he was asleep.
Crap went down the day after.
He told me he thought he needed to date someone in his town.
I was totally fine with that and understood.
I expected that to be the end of the conversation, it wasn’t.
It went on to how he “was emotionally attached to someone else.”
I’m sorry what?
All this time I was telling this dude “I’m over the games, you’re not really into me” and he insisted he was…Yet then he drops that bomb on me?
This guy told me more times than I can count how much he hated it when girls talked to multiple guys. He thought it was so shady.
Yet, he did it. So, I guess it’s only shady when ladies do it? Please, bro.
He continued to tell me how he enjoyed going after females he thought he couldn’t have. It was a “thrill” for him.
Red flag alert ladies. If the guy you’re talking to is still into the “catch me “ games or the “play hard to get” stuff, walk away. That crap isn’t cute in high school and it’s not cute in your 20’s.
It’s immaturity. It’s a lack of respect.
To add to that? He told me how he wasn’t “afraid to get hurt.”
I felt totally punked at this point.
All this guy had talked about for months was how his ex hurt him and he didn’t want to be hurt again..Then he said that.
You can imagine at this point, I’m so done.
However, he continues the conversation.. Bad move, “what if” guy.
He told me he had “very recently” met this girl. I have beliefs that’s a lie, but whatever helps him sleep better at night.
That led to him telling me “he didn’t want to go after this girl, it not work, and then regret not going for me.”
(You’d really think he would stop, but nope.)
To dig himself even further, he tells me “you can ask me to reconsider my decision and I’ll consider being with you, and not going for her.”
I’ll give you a few seconds to let that sink in.
Ladies, hear me.
If a guy ever expects you to beg him to choose you, show him the door.
If a guy ever expects you to beg him to be in your life, tell him “never.”
First of all, you should be the ONLY option.
If he’s talking to multiple girls, he’s not into you.
You shouldn’t be an option from a pool of women, you should be the only one in the pool.
If a guy is telling you something that bothers him, but does that thing himself, take that as a warning.
He’s a liar and he thinks he has the right to do whatever he wants.
If a guy wants to play games, let him. But don’t allow him to include you anymore.
If a guy wants you to ask him to be in your life, tell him good-bye.
You’re above that.
You deserve someone who WANTS to be there.
You deserve someone who values you and values your life.
If he wants you to ask him to be there, he has ego problems.
He doesn’t really care about you, or he would willingly be there.
Wait for someone who chooses you.
Wait for a guy who wants to be there.
Wait for the guy who invests time in your life.
Wait for a guy who shows up. Wait for the guy who can’t stand the thought of you being with someone else. That guy, he’s worth that wait.
Know your worth.
Don’t settle for less than that.
You deserve great love, honesty, and loyalty.
So, that’s the end of my “what if” guy.
After 5 years, that chapter has finally closed.
I’m thankful and relieved to no longer wonder.
“What if” guy, I’m not sorry we never happened. Our reality killed our potential.