I sometimes wonder what in the world I’m doing.
I went on a date last Saturday.
Mostly as a joke/bet with a friend.
Yes, I know better, but I did it anyways.
As brutal as this is, I don’t know any guy I would date.
The guys I know either have girlfriends, are married, or completely just friend material to me.
With that, I had a friend challenge me to be more open to dating.
While I casually saw M for a time, and I saw “What If Guy” once, I’ve shut down guys for 2 years.
I’m fantastic at friendzoning guys.
Even M and “What If Guy” didn’t really stand a chance with my walls.
I never had deep enough feelings for M and I never believed “What If Guy” would actually happen.
This friend had listened to me describe how lame dating is and how I pretty much never met anyone I had any interest in.
She challenged me to try. She challenged me to date a little bit, to continue to heal wounds.
I considered it for a few weeks.
On a Sunday afternoon, I took the plunge.
I switched my Bumble BFF profile over to “guys.”
I knew this was likely a terrible idea, but YOLO..or something like that.
I’m a strong believer that flirting is good for the heart.
It can’t seriously hurt you (until/unless you grow real feelings from it).
So, I flirted my little heart away.
Most guys became boring immediately, so I didn’t keep the conversation flowing.
There were a select few, about 5, that actually held a conversation/my interest.
One kind of died off because he never told me much about himself (red flag).
One “died” because he couldn’t handle that I didn’t drink/love kids.
Another never really told me about himself, but was funny.
That left these two.
I texted one for two days.
He was funny, interesting, and we had a good conversation flow.
But, he dropped the “I’m Catholic” bomb on me.
If you’re Catholic, don’t take offense to that.
You have every right to have those beliefs. My beliefs just don’t match up with the Catholic faith.
So, that left this one guy.
At this point, I was pretty much over it and ready to quit Bumble (note it had only been a few days).
But, there was something about this one guy I felt intrigued by.
When he asked for my number, I gave it to him.
We texted on and off but it seemed like it wasn’t going anywhere.
I went to TN for a weekend trip and found myself wondering about him.
He hadn’t texted me in two days.
I debated texting him, because I knew once I did, I was basically admitting I was interested.
*hits send* And away the text went.
He responded within minutes and we’ve talked every day, since.
Don’t think this that line means we’ve been talking for weeks/months.
I’ve known him 2 in a half weeks—yes I’ve lost my mind.
Anyways, I agreed to go on a date with him, last weekend.
He took me to the zoo.
You can think that’s lame and cheesy all you want. I loved it.
Conversation flowed so naturally.
The silent moments weren’t awkward at all.
We laughed and joked with each other non-stop.
I can say with absolute certainty I’ve never met a guy I so easily could laugh with.
He got my humor and I got his.
We took on a few serious topics.
I dropped the “I’ve previously been engaged” bomb on him.—I know most people tell you to save that stuff for many dates in. But, I don’t really believe in that.
I think someone should know straight up what they’re getting with me.
I’ve said it a few hundred times, but my ex changed me.
He left his mark on me with his damaging ways.
No amount of time will ever undo what he did.
I took my time heal after my ex.
I worked on my deep pain and tried to learn as much about my scars as possible.
But, some things don’t heal with time.
Some things you can’t repair. Those things have to be proven by someone.
I don’t know if anyone will prove those things to me, but I’m open to the possibility.
Back to the date.
He was kind. He was respectful.
He wasn’t clingy. He wasn’t judge-y, when he had every right to be.
At one point I started feeling faint-y. At another point he almost threw up. Yet, it was a perfectly great date.—I’m weird, I know 😉
When we were finishing up at the zoo, he asked to kiss me.
This caught off me guard.
One, because we were in public. That’s basically one of my biggest no-no’s ever.
Two, because a guy has never asked to kiss me…ever. They just do.
There was something adorable about it.
I turned him down there, but made up for it later 😉
Judge me all you want, I kissed him on the first date.
I also drove home thinking “oh crap, this one could hurt you.”
I’ve known K for less than three weeks (terrifies me, too).
We are hiking this weekend.
We have a date planned for the last Sunday in July.
By no means do we have it all figured out.
There are big things we need to discuss that could kill this.
I’m not saying he’s it or this is the next guy.
But, I am saying this one has a golden personality.
He brings me serious joy, happiness, and laughter.
Could that change? Absolutely.
Could he end up being a friend or nothing? Yes.
But, for the time being, I’m going to enjoy this.
I’m going to laugh my lips off and take time to get to know this guy.
And that’s the introduction of “K.”
Let’s see where this goes.